I hadn’t planned on blogging about American Idol, but the first contestant, the SAHM?
How CUTE is her hair???
And why can’t I get my bangs to look like that?
And while we’re talking about things I can’t do, why do I look like a clown when I put on heavy eye makeup, yet she looks hot?
And she can sing.
This is kind of hard to see her hair and face, but it gives you an idea!
To bring you complete and utter mortification.
Today my cable company came out to see if they could re-hook my cable, which was partially disconnected by that unnamed large satelite tv provider henceforth known as the devil (and I signed a 2-year contract with the devil, ya’ll).
The cable company said that they don’t go into the attic or anything, but that their guy would check the cable box and see if they could just re-hook it there, otherwise the devil would have to do it.
So this afternoon a youngish, not unattractive man (Isaac if you’re reading this, the only reason I mention that is because it makes my mortification that much worse. If you were a woman you’d understand this) so, a youngish, not unattractive man shows up at my door and looks at the cables and decides to go above and beyond the call of duty.
Literally.
He went up into the attic to see what he could see.
And what he saw were two foundational garments hanging on the doorknob that he had to unlock and open to get to the attic access through our laundry room.
And ya’ll.
Ya’ll.
I don’t have small, discreet foundational garments.
So I did what any modest girl would do and pretended that it didn’t happen, that they didn’t exist and that he didn’t see anything.
And then he went into my bedroom to check the outlets there.
My bedroom.
By now most of you know about my laundry habits while my husband is deployed.
So, needless to say, there were more foundational garments lying on the bed in all their not-small glory.
The bed which he had to get behind to reach the cable outlet.
I won’t even mention the boudoir pictures on the wall that I had taken for my husband two years ago when he was in Afghanistan and I was skinny.
The ones of me in my foundational garments and little else.
The ones I would hide if I knew someone was going into my bedroom.
I really just might die of the mortification.
The past few days I have spent hours on the phone with [unnamed large satellite tv provider].
I signed up for them about a month ago as part of a new bundle offer in my area. So many lines and cables were destroyed in Katrina that all the utility bills here are shockingly high.
So I thought I’d save some money.
Even though I didn’t really like [unnamed large satellite tv provider].
And now? A month later? After wasting hours and hours of my time, charging me $135 for my “free” service, and then not providing me with any networks except CBS? (And I love me some CSI, but lemmetellya there is no way I’m living without ABC and Pushing Daisies. And FOX and 24? If I have to miss it I will go into serious withdrawals and the resulting eye twitching will just be a hazard to everyone.).
I am canceling [unnamed large satellite tv provider].
They are dead to me.
Or at least they will be 7-10 business days after their billing dispute department receives my letter asking them to cancel the early cancellation fee that no one told me about.
After that?
Dead to me.
I finished watching the entire Alias series on dvd several weeks ago, so I was relieved when the new season premieres started.
What else does a girl with a deployed husband and three kids have to do at night?
Ok, so dishes, laundry, vacuuming and unpacking all come to mind, but let’s be honest.
Not gonna happen once the kids are finally in bed and quiet.
So I dvr’d a new series or eight and have been working my way through them. I’d watch them on actual tv, but this whole Central Time thing really throws me off.
Plus, I really like how fast the fast forward is when the commercials are dvr’d.
Anyway, I had high hopes that Bionic Woman would fill the Alias-shaped hole in my life, but Jamie Sommers just doesn’t have the rockin pink hair and fantabulous clothes the way Sidney Bristow does. She does kick some serious booty, though, so I’m not giving up yet.
So I turned to Big Shots in the hopes that a series with Michael Vartan would fulfill me. While I was glad he seemed to be the only halfway decent character, I haven’t gotten around to watching the second episode yet, and don’t really feel drawn to.
And then came Pushing Daisies.
It is cute, quirky, original and I loved it.
And couldn’t wait to watch the second episode.
And with clothes like these, how could you resist?
And while that last one lacks appropriate, er, foundational garments, I tried in vain to find a good picture of the dress with red flowers that Chuck wore in last week’s episode “Dummy” and couldn’t, so the um, unsupported dress with red flowers had to do.
And Olive’s rendition of “Hopelessly Devoted” had me laughing out loud.
