Have I mentioned that Isaac is gone for two weeks?
And that this week was our church’s Fine Arts Camp?
So from 9-3 every day Chloe has been off at camp, loving every minute of it, but coming home exhausted and cranky.
And Luke and Audrey are exhausted and cranky from having their naps disturbed to pick her up every day.
Which all set the scene nicely for the musical that the kids performed this evening after a long day of rehearsals.
It was really a great show. Grease-inspired with the cutest costumes. There were the main performers, but all the kids got to sing and dance in the choir and each age group got to do one special dance.
Chloe’s special dance was that fruit-hat-on-the-head one. She had the cutest bright pink skirt.
All the kids came out and got in their line to do the dance.
And she was off on the side of the stage crying.
She cried through most of the dance, then disappeared.
And I had no idea why. And I couldn’t find out why.
Because about 20 minutes into the show, which was over an hour, Audrey completely lost control. She couldn’t sit and had no place to play and after juggling her and Luke she finally had enough, threw her pacifier where we couldn’t find it and just started screaming.
So when Chloe’s big song came on I had been outside the theater for 20 minutes, trying to keep Audrey happy and quiet, trying to keep Luke from having a fit because he wanted to go back inside and watch the show, and trying to sneak peeks at the show.
And that was when I started crying.
Not only was I missing Chloe’s first-ever performance, but something was wrong, something was causing her to miss her big part in her first-ever performance and it was breaking her heart and she was sobbing and there was nothing I could do.
And I was handling it all alone.
It’s important to remember that the stuff on your kid’s hands might not be melted chocolate.
Last night I was woken up by Chloe in hysterics at 3:30 am.
It seems one of her toys was low on batteries and was randomly turning on and off and she freaked out.
So I turned it off and compassionately said, “There. It’s off. Go back to sleep.”
Her freaking out had woken Audrey up, though, and Audrey in turn was freaking out, only she didn’t stop freaking out when she heard my warmly loving words. So I took her out of her crib to get her a cup of milk.
And whacked her hard upside the head on the doorjamb while walking out of the room.
Oops.
*Since April Fool’s is drawing to a close, I removed the RickRoll link from the post! Wouldn’t want ya’ll to be annoyed by that in the next few days 
I don’t know what it’s been about the past two days, but if one of us isn’t deadngone by Sunday, it’ll be a miracle.
Yesterday Audrey was into everything. Four times I had to pull trash out of her mouth and put it back into the trash can.
Luke decided to take a bath while I was cooking dinner, and when I went to investigate a strange sound, I discovered that Audrey had thrown his Leapster (gameboy kinda thing) into his bath! I put her outside to play and the next time I looked up, she was sucking on the sharp tip of my gardening spade.
And when I went to get it, she took off running with it in her mouth.
Today, again during dinner, I went to the bathroom. In the time it took me to pee, Luke had pushed a chair in front of the stove, climbed up, and was leaning over a boiling pot of noodles, set on a burner on high, and was feeling the steam.
And in the time it took me to put a lid on that pot, Audrey had reached up and pulled a glass bowl full of pasta sauce down off the counter and onto her head and half the kitchen.
Maybe I just need to stop cooking dinner.
A play in three acts by Luke and Chloe.
ACT I- In which Superhero Pink and Superhero Blue sing some songs. Until…Superhero Blue changes his mind and decides he wants to be a cowboy instead.
ACT II- In which The Cowboy loses his hat and gets sad, and The Cowboy and The Cowgirl sing some more songs.
Intermission- In which the Incredibly Stinky Baby gets a bath.
“Was that me?”
Oh, I’m so embarassed!
ACT III- In which The Policegirl and The Doctor sing really loudly and mommy looks for more sinus medicine. Preferably one that will make her sleep for a very long time.
This play brought to you by Luke, Chloe, and much cold medicine.
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