It’s the middle of nap time.  I pull in to the parking lot at the doctor’s office and realize that I was supposed to go through a drive-thru and get the kids lunch to eat in the car on the way to the doctor’s, and I totally forgot.

So I’m now taking three hungry, tired kids to a last-minute doctor’s appointment since Audrey again has a fever and croup.

We waited forever and when the doctor finally arrived, it wasn’t Audrey’s normal pediatrician.  I had to give the whole history of her recent 911 episode since we hadn’t seen this doc before.  When I got to the part about her oxygen level being 71, she said, “Well, I don’t believe that.  It’s incompatible with life.”

She then went on a 10-minute diatribe about EMT’s and how they don’t know how to use their equipment correctly.

So I told her that when we arrived at the hospital, after getting oxygen in the ambulance, her level was 86.

She approved that number and wrote it down.

When we got to the question of whether Audrey had ever been hospitalized, I told her that she was never admitted to the hospital, but they had kept us in the ER throughout the night.

Which sent her on another 10-minute diatribe about how if SHE had been the ER doctor, she would have admitted her to see a pediatrician because of the rebound effect and blah blah she would have done so much better.

And by this time Luke was in the chair in corner moaning, “eeeaaattt….eeeeeeeeeeaaat…” and Audrey was throwing tantrums and actually asking to take a nap.

It took us another 25 minutes to finish because there were a few more lectures, and some problem with the computers not letting her prescribe the medicine she wanted, so I was pretty frustrated by the time we finally made it to the pharmacy to get pick up the prescription for oral steroids.

There was this nice little old lady with a Red Cross Volunteer badge at the counter.  She must have been in her 70’s.

And she gave me the third degree like you wouldn’t believe.

Ya’ll, Granny was ready to jump right out of her sensible white shoes and grab me by the hair for a smack-down if I didn’t get my birthdate and husband’s social security number exactly right.

But I did get it right, so she gave me my military ID back.  It’s not like three other people hadn’t already checked it as I came on base and went into the clinic.  People who were much bigger.

And armed.

But not nearly as dangerous as Granny.

Ya’ll, she actually snatched it out of my hand and said, “Let me see that again” after she gave it back to me.  But we made it out of there with Audrey’s prescription, and she is now sleeping not very peacefully in my room, while I jump at every cough and gasp.

And then when she’s quiet I jump up to make sure she’s still breathing.

We have the cool-mist vaporizer turned back on and the the air conditioner turned down to arctic levels to help her breathe better, and it would be nice if the money flowed the way the snot does around here, with all the electricity we’re sucking up lately.

I’m praying this passes soon.

Because I really need a full night of sleep.

And my toes are cold.

I got in the car to take her to the ER.

As far as I knew, the closest ER is about 15-20 minutes away.  About three minutes into the drive she suddenly started trying to gasp for air, but couldn’t get any at all.  Her arms and legs were flailing and her eyes were wide open with terror and she was getting no air.

I grabbed my cell phone and called 911.  At first I figured maybe they could just let the ER know we were on our way so they would be ready.  

Audrey was gasping “mo-mee” in the back and reaching for me from her carseat when she stopped breathing again, so I pulled into the closest gas station.

I didn’t think she was going to start breathing again that time, and I knew we wouldn’t make it to the ER before she stopped breathing permanently.

I have no words to describe the horror of watching my baby reach for me and gasp for a breath she couldn’t get, and wonder if she would ever take another.

The ambulance and fire truck came within minutes.  They put me on the gurney with her in my lap so I could hold an oxygen mask to her face.

Her oxygen level was 71 and her pulse was 190, which I knew was bad, especially when the paramedic told his partner to call in a priority one infant in respiratory distress.

We got to the hospital in three minutes.  She underwent three breathing treatments in a row plus intravenous steroids and tylenol and motrin to bring down her fever, which was almost 103 by then.

We got to the ER around 10 pm and didn’t leave until almost 5 am.  She had several more breathing treatments throughout the night, and I just sat on the hospital bed all night, holding her in one arm, and blowing oxygen from a tube into her face with the other arm.

It turns out she has a bad case of croup, an ear infection, and is in the beginning stages of pneumonia.  As we were getting ready to leave, one of the nurses told me it was a good thing I had called 911 when I did because she was on the verge of needing a breathing tube when the paramedics got there, and her throat was so closed that they would have had to do a tracheotomy to get it in.

The security guard on duty went and bought her a teddy bear.

She’s home now with five different medicines and instructions to bring her back if she gets worse at all.  My arms and tailbone ache from sitting in the same position holding her for seven hours straight, but she is sleeping peacefully, with only a hint of a wheeze, and we are grateful.

Chloe did end up going back on stage after the big dance ended.  She was very reserved at first, but got into it after a few minutes.

And I noticed some friends sitting on the end of an aisle and sent Luke to go sit with them so he could watch the show.

And Audrey was free to run around in back, so everyone was more or less happy.

After the show Chloe was happy, which was a huge relief.  It turns out her foot had gotten caught on her skirt, making it fall off.

Being the cry-first-and-ask-questions-later girl that she is, she just started crying hysterically.

Of course, they had to go on with the show, and they couldn’t get her calmed down enough to just go out on stage with the other girls in the middle of the song, but she was able to join them after they all rejoined the choir.

She says that she had fun and wants to do it again.

So I guess mine is the only heart that really got broken.