An open letter to my carpet
Ξ August 28th, 2009 | → 1 Comments | ∇ Fitness Stuff |
Dear old grey carpet,
I understand that you’ve been abused in your past. I see the stains and tears that testify to your misuse.
However, that wasn’t me.
I am merely a renter, passing through for a year. And I’ve taken good care of you during the months I’ve lived here.
I vacuum the crumbs that the kids drop so that bugs don’t crawl on you. I’ve tried cleaning your old stains. I even stopped Audrey from peeing on you during potty training.
I treat you well.
Sure, I’ve sweated on you more than normal while doing Insanity.
But I promise to steam clean you before you start to stink.
There’s no cause for you to suck all the oxygen out of the room when I am trying to do my Max Interval Plyometrics.
Don’t even deny it was you, because when I was gasping for breath during the middle of my side to side hops and diamond jumps, the only time I could breathe was when I collapsed face down onto you.
And at the end of the workout, when I was doing my balance push ups? And I could neither balance nor push?
I know it was you moving around, making me unstable, causing me to collapse to the floor.
It had nothing to do with the lack of strength I have in my arms.
So I’m putting you on notice. Behave yourself, and be a nice, cushy landing for my power jumps.
Or I just might “forget” to wipe my shoes off the next time it rains.
Signed,
The sweaty girl who just collapsed on you after almost finishing an Insanity workout
on March 14th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
I love the way your mind works.