An open letter to my carpet
Ξ August 28th, 2009 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Fitness Stuff |
Dear old grey carpet,
I understand that you’ve been abused in your past. I see the stains and tears that testify to your misuse.
However, that wasn’t me.
I am merely a renter, passing through for a year. And I’ve taken good care of you during the months I’ve lived here.
I vacuum the crumbs that the kids drop so that bugs don’t crawl on you. I’ve tried cleaning your old stains. I even stopped Audrey from peeing on you during potty training.
I treat you well.
Sure, I’ve sweated on you more than normal while doing Insanity.
But I promise to steam clean you before you start to stink.
There’s no cause for you to suck all the oxygen out of the room when I am trying to do my Max Interval Plyometrics.
Don’t even deny it was you, because when I was gasping for breath during the middle of my side to side hops and diamond jumps, the only time I could breathe was when I collapsed face down onto you.
And at the end of the workout, when I was doing my balance push ups? And I could neither balance nor push?
I know it was you moving around, making me unstable, causing me to collapse to the floor.
It had nothing to do with the lack of strength I have in my arms.
So I’m putting you on notice. Behave yourself, and be a nice, cushy landing for my power jumps.
Or I just might “forget” to wipe my shoes off the next time it rains.
Signed,
The sweaty girl who just collapsed on you after almost finishing an Insanity workout
