Why is it friends who criticize?
Ξ April 13th, 2009 | → 9 Comments | ∇ Navy Life |
With Isaac recently home from Iraq, it is amazing how often his deployment comes up in conversation with absolute strangers.
I go to get a pedicure and a little grown-up pampering, and the women ask me if I’m getting ready for a special occasion.
We went to California to see family, and the airline agents and flight attendants all ask about our destination.
And the overwhelming response from people has been to thank us. Not just my husband, but also me for making the sacrifice of living without him. One family even paid for our dinner when we were out on a date. At an expensive Japanese Hibachi restaurant. And it turned out that the man had actually recently had to close his business due to the economy.
We’ve been exceedingly blessed and encouraged by strangers.
But when I was in California I went to a friend’s house. I was alone with her husband for a few minutes and the first thing he said after hi? Was criticism. There wasn’t even a “Glad Isaac is safe and home” or a “How does it feel to have your husband back?” before he started in…
“You know, I really don’t like the direction our military is going…” and he went on for a minute without giving me any chance to respond.
My friend came back into the room and we left, so I never said anything to him, which I’m not sure is good or bad. Because honestly, my opinion is this:
Complain to the lawmakers. Thank the men and women who risk their lives to ensure you have the freedom to complain.
But it does make me wonder. Why is it complete strangers who thank us and encourage us, and friends who attack unexpectedly?
on April 13th, 2009 at 10:49 am
That is so hard. Please know that your sacrifices are hugely appreciated.
on April 13th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Somtimes I think we can be too open with those that are closest to us. We forget to say “thanks” or tell them how happy/sorry we are about the things that happen in their lives.
You are so right though – complain to the lawmakers. Those of us in the military don’t have a say in where we get sent or what we do. My former commanding officer often quoted Voltaire: (paraphrase) I may not like what you say, which I will die for your right to say it.”
Because of the contributions of people like Isaac, no matter how great or small, people like your friend can say whatever they want without fear of retribution.
on April 13th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
You are only hearing from the strangers who have something nice to say or do. The others are just not saying a word.
Unfortunately, when you are friends with someone they think that means it’s ok to share the opinion that they wouldn’t dream of sharing had you been a stranger. Does that make sense?
Just know that there are people who are grateful for everything he is doing for his country. People who are dissatisfied aren’t dissatisfied with Isaac, but with the government. They vent to someone who is in the military which they see as the problem.
It’s like complaining about the school system to a teacher. Most of the time they will agree that changes should be made but are powerless to change them, and they are just doing their best to teach and make a difference in a child’s life in anyway they can.
on April 13th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
My dad was navy and my mom was/still is a teacher, hence, my analogies.
on April 13th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
sometimes we hurt those closest to us without even meaning to. I have to agree with you though, thank those that serve and complain to your barber (to initiate conversation) or someone who can do something about it.
on April 13th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Oh, yes, I’ve got a criticism… Just kidding! How awesome of someone to buy you dinner! That’s so cool. We’ve had someone hand us a hundred dollar bill once to thank us. I’m glad some people are so generous. And I AM glad he is home and for both of your sacrifices. Praying for no more deployments for you all for awhile!
on April 13th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
that’s awesome people buy you dinner! i’m so sorry about your “friend” maybe friends find they’re more comfortable with us so they voice their unhappiness with how things are? i’m not sure but it sucks.
i thank you and your family for your service!
on April 14th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
That’s really sad about your friend. Sheesh. But how cool that someone bought you dinner! I need to find some military family and do that for them! Great idea! (Got any free nights coming up????)
on April 21st, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Sorry about that. Chris actually mentioned the incident to me and said, “I’m not sure if she knew what I meant.” Then he asked me to clarify with you that he wasn’t criticizing. I’d forgotten all about it until now! Chris is totally in support of the military, he just doesn’t agree with the new president.