I Can’t Believe Some of Ya’ll Actually Enjoy This
Ξ April 23rd, 2008 | → 18 Comments | ∇ Everyday Stuff |
I gardened the other day.
The original owners of our home created some nice areas that grow some nice plants in front of our house.
Planters? Beds? I don’t know what I’m supposed to call them.
But apparently “the part of the lawn where all the weeds are” is not the right name.
Now if it were up to me, I’d just pretend the weeds weren’t there and go about my life.
It works for the dust on my mantle.
And my picture frames.
And the top of my fridge.
And cabinets.
But since we have something called neighbors, who actually have to live next door to us and across from us, I guess pretending the weeds aren’t there isn’t going to work.
My next preferred option would be to wait until the weeds are all a good four to five feet high and then just yank them out.
Because then there would be minimal bending and kneeling and contact with the ground where ALL THE BUGS are.
But some of our neighbors actually want to sell their houses, and I guess houses with five-foot-high weeds don’t really send property values though the roof.
So I actually went out and gardened with the intent of getting rid of all the weeds before they became unsightly.
Which meant there wasn’t a whole lot of weed to yank.
And at times I actually had to root around in the, well, roots in order to really get that sucker out of there.
And when I did that?
Oh Dear God, the sheer size of the spiders that skittered away.
And then.
Oh mercy.
Please God.
Please, please, please let that be a dried up leaf that just fell into my glove.
Please, please, please don’t let it be a spider and
OH MY GOD it is MOVING!!! THERE IS A SPIDER IN MY GLOVE.
And so ends my stint as a gardener. My neighbors have my sincere best wishes on the sale of their houses.
I won’t know if they get sold or not, since I won’t be able to see their yards over the twelve-foot-high wall o’ weeds that will soon be dividing us.
On the plus side, if they give me dirty looks for bringing down property values, I won’t be able to see those either.
on April 23rd, 2008 at 5:45 am
Sweetie you need longer gloves… LOL I don’t enjoy the bugs much… and I’m with ya on the spiders – they need to learn to stay away from me and outta my house. I know they serve their purpose and all – but it’s gonna have to be where I can’t see them. Maybe you can make a science lesson out of the kids pulling the weeds, identify them, discuss how they grow, etc.
on April 23rd, 2008 at 6:36 am
HILARIOUS! I don’t get gardening either. I know it’s supposed to be enjoyable but I find it very stressful, especially because of the bugs (and because the boys think the bugs are so awesome and have to play with them!) Every once in awhile I’ll use a hoe to hack the weeds, then just throw everything away (soil too and probably bugs as well) but just do it quickly without looking! And of course using gloves.
on April 23rd, 2008 at 7:42 am
I am so with you. Every spring I think “maybe I should plant something.” And then about ten seconds later this voice in my head that sounds like my mother says “Erin, don’t be an idiot.” And that’s usually that for the year.
on April 23rd, 2008 at 8:39 am
My weeds have little purple flowers on them, so that’s my excuse. I don’t ask you to pull your flowers, so don’t ask me to pull my weeds.
on April 23rd, 2008 at 8:57 am
I’m sorry, I know it’s not very ‘green’ but we go the Roundup route. Maybe someone makes an Earth-friendly version?
I wonder… If it’s BAD for weeds, can it still be Earth-friendly?!!
on April 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
This post made me laugh because I so want to enjoy gardening but I don’t In fact, I have a half-dead basil plant sitting on my porch as I type.
on April 23rd, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I totally with you on the bugs – I was not excited about the spiders and other creepy crawlers yesterday when I was prepping my garden plot! Definitely my least favourite part…right before weeding, watering, planting and harvesting – oh wait….I’m pretty I just listed everything to do with gardening under “least favourite”! LOL
on April 23rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Uh yeah…that would be the end of my gardening stunt…although oh yeah…I probably would have never started!!!
on April 24th, 2008 at 5:16 am
I HATE weeding…HATE HATE HATE IT. Not theraputic.
Last year when we moved I aswell decided to pull out the hundred years of plant over growth in my garden…..oh the spiders!!!
This year I started as soon as the plants poked through. I’m hoping if I keep on top of it I won’t have to experience the giant spider problem.
I sooooo sympathize.
I STILL tell my friends about your spider encounter with your van last year. blech!!!!
on April 24th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I hate it, too. Every year, I think, ‘we should plant something pretty,’ but then I remember the heat and the dirt and the bugs and the snakes and I’m out. Plastic plants are best.
on April 24th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I hear ya. I don’t like gardening or spiders. I would of totally freaked out if a spider fell in my glove. Good luck with growing that wall
on April 24th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
THAT WAS FUNNY!
i always get in a gardening kick every year then i remind myself how much i can’t stand bugs but for whatever reason it doens’t stop me until i have one find me. Ugh, i shiver just thinking about it.
on April 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Absolutely hysterical
I love gardening, and don’t mind the bugs.. this was too fun to read! Thanks for the giggle and the great visuals!
on April 25th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
So funny! I don’t enjoy the gardening either. And a 12 foot wall of weeds seems perfectly acceptable to me.
Sorry about the spider. That is really not good.
on April 25th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I actually love to garden, but HATE the bugs, too.
Yeah, longer gloves help. Or find a friend who likes to garden and invite her over to help you.
on April 27th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
This is the same reason my husband will not go in the crawl spce in our house to put the a/c duct back up. I guess the spiders will just have to be cooler than we are!! LOL
on April 27th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
We got and did some gardening this weekend. Who cares about the neighbors – I started with the backyard because thats the space I enjoy! The previous owners have all kinds of plants and you just never know what is gonna pop up where. (and, as long as i dont run into the home of the giant spiders that find there way into my house i think im okay) we made a small dent . . . which means a few more weekends to go!
on July 3rd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
[...] the front planter (because even though I swore off weeding, it’s really out of control and [...]